You guarded and protected me, and in the end you had to kill a man to shield me. You did all that despite my being a constant bitch – a selfish, spiteful bitch. I never thanked you or appreciated you, and in return for everything you did for me, I got you hurt so badly – tortured and maimed – and yet I still felt it more important to sort out my feelings than to talk to you. How could you ever forgive all that? I’m an awful person. Even my psychiatrist thinks so, I’m sure.“He says you might have a good knight syndrome or something, to do all that and still tell me you love me.”“It’s White Knight – and I don’t do that anymore. I’m a lot more careful now.”“You see – I’ve destroyed even that,” she was crying really loudly now. Boots was sitting at our feet, looking very disturbed. “After my parents ... and then you – you could have all died thinking I didn’t care.”I decided to give her a hug. It wasn’t a White Knight thing, not anymore. It was just one human feeling empathy for another.. “You made a big impression on Gordon,” Cerys said. “He’s been particularly attentive since you two last met. He was really keen that I invite you over. I shouldn’t indulge him but this is pretty great and I wanted you to see it.”The house was on the edge of London. A 1930’s style building, built by someone that had been wealthy in the inter-war years. White, with low railings stretching beside balconies that ran the length of the building, it looked as if an ocean liner dropped into the London suburbs.The two girls were standing in Gordon’s “playroom”. It had originally been a gym and still had the parquet wood floor and wall bars that had been installed when the house was first built. There was even a traditional, leather covered vaulting horse in the middle of the room. At one end of the room was a range of wooden racks. Originally intended for Indian clubs, weights and other training equipment they now held an assortment of instruments of restraint, discipline and other forms of.
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